The Sick Note
Dear sir I write this note to you to tell you of my plight and at this time of writing, I am not a pretty sight My body is all black and blue, my face a deadly gray And I write this note to say, why Patty's not at work today. While Working on the fourteenth floor some bricks I had to clear Now to "thro" them down from such a height was not a good idea The foreman wasn't very pleased he being an awkward sod He said I'd have to cart them down the ladder in me hod. NOW Clearing all these bricks by hand, it was so very slow So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below But in me haste to do the job I was to blind to see That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me. SO When I untied the rope the barrel fell like lead And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead Well I shot like a rocket till to my dismay I found that half way up I met the bloody barrel coming down. WELL the barrel broke me shoulder as to the ground it sped And when I reached the top, I banged the pulley with me head Well, I clung on tight though numb with shock from this almighty blow And the barrel spilled out half the bricks, fourteen floors below. NOW When these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more Still clinging tightly to the rope I sped toward the ground And I landed on the broken bricks that were all scattered around. WELL I lay there groaning on the ground, I thought I passed the worst When the barrel hit the pulley wheel and then the bottom burst Well a shower of bricks rained down on me, I hadn't got a hope As I lay there moaning on the ground, I let go the bloody rope The barrel then being heavier it started down one more And landed right across me as lay upon the floor Well it broke three ribs and my left arm and I can only say that I hope you'll understand why Patty's not at work today.