This is why Patrick is not at work today...
The Sick Note
Dear sir I write this note to you to tell you of my plight
and at this time of writing, I am not a pretty sight
My body is all black and blue, my face a deadly gray
And I write this note to say, why Patty's not at work today.
Working on the fourteenth floor some bricks I had to clear
Now to "thro" them down from such a height was not a good idea
The foreman wasn't very pleased he being an awkward sod
He said I'd have to cart them down the ladder in me hod.
Clearing all these bricks by hand, it was so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below
But in me haste to do the job I was to blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me.
When I untied the rope the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead
Well I shot like a rocket till to my dismay I found
that half way up I met the bloody barrel coming down.
the barrel broke me shoulder as to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top, I banged the pulley with me head
Well, I clung on tight though numb with shock from this almighty blow
And the barrel spilled out half the bricks, fourteen floors below.
When these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more
Still clinging tightly to the rope I sped toward the ground
And I landed on the broken bricks that were all scattered around.
I lay there groaning on the ground, I thought I passed the worst
When the barrel hit the pulley wheel and then the bottom burst
Well a shower of bricks rained down on me, I hadn't got a hope
As I lay there moaning on the ground, I let go the bloody rope
The barrel then being heavier it started down one more
And landed right across me as lay upon the floor
Well it broke three ribs and my left arm and I can only say
that I hope you'll understand why Patty's not at work today.
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